YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Randomize
