I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize