so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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