Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Randomize
