where am i from again
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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