Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
