Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
