The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
