let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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