Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
