I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
