Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
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