Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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