I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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