she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
