Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Randomize
