Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
