The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Is her dick bigger than yours?
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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