Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
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