Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
her facebook's as public as her vagina
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
