Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
