Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
