went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
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