I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
