Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
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