Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
