they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
