his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Randomize
