Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
3 2 1 whiskey
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize
