Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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