So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
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