don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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