youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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