I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
