the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Randomize
