No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
