haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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