Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
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