i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
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