If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
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