Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
it's great music for shaving your balls
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
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