Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
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