hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
