i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
