I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
