I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Randomize
