i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
