she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
