The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
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