real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
