Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Randomize