Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
