you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Someone signed my nipple.
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