Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Randomize
