return my video game
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Randomize
