Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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